I'M BACK!! Yes, the rumors are true, Lee Ann, we are finally home! We actually got home almost a week ago, but we have been so insanely busy that this is the first time I have actually gotten time to sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time and post an update. For anyone who does not know what has been going on, Phillip and I have been gone for the past two weeks straight. For the first Monday-Thursday, we were at Crosspoint, a sports camp for our children. I got to lead one of my special little girls to Christ! Very Awesome! We came home early from it on Thursday night to wash clothes and repack, and left on Friday morning at 6:00 a.m. for Ohio with a youth to put on a sports camp for a church there. It was alot of fun, and we made alot of memories, including Phillip riverdancing, getting lost(right outside of Cincinatti!) and the vandilizing of our van. But I have to admit, we are so excited to be at home!
Phillip and I were talking about it, and we are ready to start our "normal" life. Since we have been married, our life has been turned so upside down, inside out, that we honestly haven't had a "normal" life at all! We both really feel like it's about to begin. I can't help but believe in my spirit that God allowed us to go through these tumultuous times together to teach us SO many different lessons. I am so grateful that we have a God who desires to grow us, who desires to stretch us and mold us into the image of Him. It's overwhelming.
Well, now that we have began to settle into our normal lives, here are a few updates: First of all, (tear) I may not be able to start school back this semester. Not because of my desires or anything that I did wrong, but simply because AUM sent me a crucial letter that I NEVER RECIEVED, and now they have pretty much told me that I will not be able to get a financial aid package together in time to start classes, so I can either pay school expenses out of my own pocket or wait until next semester. Hmmm...that's a hard one. Do I REALLY have a choice?! I was very very very very BEYOND upset about this the day that I finally found out about it, I'm talking tears all day long, wailing and gnashing of teeth upset (luckily Phillip was home to comfort me), because it was not supposed to work out this way! I have worked on my degree for 3 years, and this was supposed to be my fourth and last year, you know? What if I never finish? What if this throws off my whole life plan, what if we get pregnant and I can't finish school (it would be a complete accident, but you never know) what if a great opportunity comes up and I never want to go back??
I was yelling all of this at Phillip, when he says, in his quiet and gentle way "Don't we serve a God who has a plan for us? Wasn't it his desire for us to come here? Didn't you do everything in your power to ensure that you got in? Then just TRUST, Rose. Leave it up to Him. Follow his path, without regrets for what might have been. You know that you're committed to finishing school, no matter what. Just trust HIM". Wise words from a wise man. And I got to thinking, I have had so many plans in the past, so many things that should have worked, but didn't, and I still came to this place, this beautiful place that I am at, right in the center of God's will, more happy and content than I have ever been. And I thought, if MY plans had worked out, where would I be? Certainly not here. Certainly not in this place. And then it occured to me, I don't WANT my plans to work out anymore. I mess me up! My plans fail, my directions and desires end up taking me a place that I truly do not desire to be.
But HIS plans, even when I can't see or understand them, always seem to work out. There is a profound truth in that, a truth that I have missed so many times before, that I have just skimmed the surface of. But now I desire to dive into it, to let that truth envelop me, to truly live in it. I DON'T WANT WHAT I WANT, I just want HIM. And when I keep that in my mind, in my soul, THAT's when things happen. That's when I am content. What do I know about me, about the future? He created me, "knit me together in my mother's womb". All of the days of my life were numbered before I came into existance. There is such a peace in resting in that truth.
And that is where I find myself today. Just trusting, just praising. There are alot of other things that have happened, but I will post about them in a day or two. Phillip is taking me to Montgomery tonight for the weekend. We are gonna shop, eat out, STAY IN A HOTEL (those of you who know Phillip know that this is a big thing, because he does not like hotels!) and just enjoy being alone and away together. We need it! I will let you guys know how everything turns out. Until then, God Bless.